DEAR ABBY: I am about to marry a wonderful woman. We have been together for 16 years and have two precious children. Recently, we were treated to bachelor parties and bachelor parties, a week apart. While we all know what happens during them isn’t real, it’s over once you walk through the door.
Well, my fiancée has pictures and videos of her celebration. I knew what “might” have happened, but only in my imagination. Seeing these images, I now find myself constantly comparing myself to the performers. Even though I told her that the fantasy shouldn’t come to the house under any circumstances, she says there’s nothing to hide, that’s why she had the pictures and videos done. Am I overreacting? The wedding is still going to take place, by the way. — FANTASY AGAINST. REALITY
DEAR RVF: If it’s unfortunate that your fiancée brought home “souvenirs”, you’re going to have to let go of your anxiety. Regardless of what happened at her bachelorette party, and I know some of it can get pretty wild, you have to remember that the men the bride and her attendants interacted with were ENGAGED for the occasion. (Just like the interpreters at your house.) If it really affected your self-esteem, you may need to add an extra element to the cost of your nuptials – sessions with a therapist to help clear your mind.
PS I sincerely hope your precious children never get their hands on this video.
DEAR ABBY: My husband’s sister and her husband, “Tom”, recently moved to the same town where we live. I adore her and she has become a close friend. We didn’t get to know each other at the beginning of my marriage because we lived very far from each other.
Ever since they moved here, she and Tom have been fighting constantly. Every time they do, Tom wants her to come stay with us. I don’t mind spending the night once in a while, but he wants her to move in with us! The problem is that she has no income of her own and no car, not even a driver’s license. She is totally dependent on him.
I don’t feel comfortable meddling in their business. We can’t afford to take her in and take care of her, but she has nowhere to go. What should I do? We can’t put her on the street. — WITS’ END IN THE EAST
DEAR MINDS: Your sister-in-law and brother-in-law aren’t just fighting since they moved into your community. It seems that they had serious marital problems which were not resolved long before their arrival. It’s time for your husband to get more involved and talk with both of them.
If there are other relatives in the area, she might be able to temporarily stay with them. Of course, if Tom has a job, he will have to contribute financially until she becomes independent. In the meantime, encourage her to become independent by helping her to familiarize herself with public transport, which she can use to look for a job.