Boris Johnson’s Ugly Party: You’d Cry Too If It Happened To You

Dodgy politicians around the world are left shaken by the cascade of events in British Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s small political garden, a triangulation of his home office, his neighboring house and his actual workplace, the House of Commons , where he explains what he did at the other two places.

He organizes parties or meetings outside of which he says they only looked like parties. In the party photographs.

Everyone drank massively – from staff going to wine shops with discreet suitcases – we all did, even though we were 16 at the time – but that was during lockdown when many such things are illegal.

At the time, say, the average Brit’s mother was dying in hospital and he wanted to sit down with her and say as bravely as he could, sorry mum, supposed to be a better son. And she was saying, nonsense, couldn’t have asked for a nicer boy, means everything you’re here.

But it was lockdown, you couldn’t be in the same room or even in the building itself. So you left her to die alone, careless, scared, out of breath as the noise of the hospital rumbled around her.

I heard a roar downstairs and assumed it was Ottawa’s tiny talentless anti-vaxxers – should we call them pro-covid – shouting and honking at the TV. But no, it was Johnson in the Commons who received a huge flattening.

Labor leader Sir Keir Starmer confronted him with one of the most devastating indictments Britons have ever heard. Not since Geoffrey Howe confronted Margaret Thatcher in this same room in 1990 has a politician been more gloomily finished.

“A collective trauma was endured by all,” Starmer said, looking directly across the table from Johnson, who is under investigation by the police for personally breaking the lockdown law.

“Many have been overwhelmed with grief and even guilt. Guilt because they kept the law, they didn’t see their parents one last time. People shouldn’t feel guilty. themselves and their country, because by following these rules they have saved the lives of people they will probably never meet.

It was pretty bad, but then Starmer put the knife in. He quoted Margaret Thatcher, the woman who revived the Conservative Party with naked self-interest as the central juice of its government drug, whose talents paved the way for Johnson to become a living and breathing, wheezing and gasping, PM.

“Margaret Thatcher once said,” he told the Commons, “The first duty of government is to uphold the law.” If he tries to fuss, sneak, and shirk this obligation when it doesn’t suit him…then the governed will too. ” It hurts.

BoJo survived an avalanche of convictions – I was stoned when I called it a stunt – for corruption, racism, deadly incompetence, lies, association with criminals, a Brexit that left the country without strawberries, canapes and medical care, and 50 other bits of stuff.

He survived thanks to bobbing and weaving. Political columnist Andrew Rawnsley lists Johnson’s lines of defense.

“Nobody told me it was against the rules. Let’s try to get a sense of the proportion. He didn’t rob a bank. We got all the big calls okay. Most people broke the rules. rules. Labor wants me to resign. There will have to be an election if the Prime Minister is changed. Wait for the report. Only a notice of penalty [a.k.a. parking ticket]. Voters are fed up and fed up.

Here’s a bob and weave for the ages, the claim that BoJo couldn’t have missed one particular illegal gathering. It was his birthday and his wife had ordered a cake. A Johnson underling issued an apology he’ll have on his headstone: “He was kind of ambushed with a cake.”

This is the authoritative playlist. They take notes, particularly in the East and further afield, let’s note. Here in Canada, it will be a piece of the pie to replace Conservative leader Erin O’Toole, maybe not with a third simpleton.

Joseph K. Bennett